Strong, Independent Black Woman,
You are Strong. Black. Powerful. A woman. And Independent af There is a theory that your ancestors bore pain to bring you the strength which you hold in your very genes. Yep you read correctly, the PTSD caused by the pain of your ancestors may well be in your genes. Your ability to hide your tears, to shy your pain away from those closest to you, to stay silent when your voice is begging to scream may be genetic. Not least the expectation of you to have a brave face on at all times, you have been stereotyped as being angry and black and a woman. As though the combination consists of more negatives than positives. You are black and a woman, that much is true. But you may not be angry at this point in time. When these things are lined up against you, I know this makes it difficult to cry. To show any form of fragility. To show anything but a cultivated civilised emotionless member of society to the world for fear of judgement, stereotypes and discrimination. And even when you do shed a tear, there's always someone there to tell you 'Don't worry, you're a strong, independent, black woman.' A phrase which immediately condemns the emotion of any black woman by counteracting any emotions that woman may be feeling with facts she already knows, but is made to re acknowledge the fact that she should fulfil her role so as to be dependable. The strong black woman. An image of not needing anyone else and being able to juggle life without any slip ups. This phrase robs us of our femininity, our fragility, our chance to breathe. You go through so much, and embodying this pseudo strength will make you unable to feel. You won't ask for help or admit your struggle, yet still you feel responsible for holding the weight of everyone else's burden. There is no doubt that you truly are a strong, independent, black woman. However you too are human. Live with as many emotions as you require. Have your moment. Don't let this society turn your soft side, rough. It's okay to not be okay.
xx
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